As if you haven't seen/heard that quote a million times in your life already.
When I think about what I'm most of afraid, the obvious things come to mind: something bad happening to Aiden, the death of a family member, my death, spiders, clowns, airplanes, public speaking...
You know, I went to a church service a few weekends ago and the preacher was talking about fear. Bear with be folks. I'm not getting religious on you, this is actually interesting. He said that in a survey (I can't remember the source), 9 out of 10 people listed public speaking as their biggest fear over dying. The preacher said, "Basically that means if you were at a funeral, most of those people would rather be in the casket than give the eulogy!" Fear is a funny thing isn't it?
While all those things I listed above are legitimate fears of mine, there's one I didn't list that has actually had more significance in my life and that's the fear of failure. I'm willing to bet almost everyone is afraid to fail to some extent. I'd even say a lot of you have been so afraid to fail you just chose not to do whatever it was you had the opportunity to do. There are quite a few times in my life I've passed up some pretty cool opportunities because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do it and then everyone would think I was a fool. I used to think it would be better to try so I could have control. If I didn't try, I wouldn't fail, and everyone would be none the wiser.
When I was in 7th grade I wanted to try out for the dance team. I worked my ass off during practice at school and even went to a girl's house after school practice to practice some more. I had the routine down for sure. When try out day came I started getting anxious. I knew I would have to learn a lot more and a lot more complicate routines. I became so afraid that I wouldn't be able to do it if I was chosen that I messed up at try outs on purpose so I would be cut. I regret that now because I probably would have made more friends and it probably would have forced me to come out of my shell in high school. Plus I would have had some killer legs.
When I went to college, I chose nursing as my major with the intent to get my Master's in Nurse Anesthesia. I felt like that was my dream career and I was so excited to start college and work my way toward that goal. But a month in to it I started worrying about not being able to pass all the exams I would have to take later on. I thought, "What if I can't get into nursing school after spending all this time and money? And then, even if I get into nursing school, what if I can't get into the Nurse Anesthetist program? Then I'm stuck being a nurse (which I did NOT want to do)." So, not knowing what else I would like to change my major to, I dropped out. I planned to figure it all out later and go back to school "next year." Then life happened and now 8 years later, I still don't have a degree in anything and it's taken me this long to find a real career and a great paying job. Dropping out did end up okay though because I wouldn't have liked working varying shifts at a hospital. Plus, I absolutely love what I do now.
A few months ago, when I found out about my current job position, I almost didn't even apply (I'll stop talking about my new job soon, I swear. This topic just happened to apply haha). I thought, "Well... I don't have a degree. They probably won't even consider me. I doubt I'm even good enough. They'll probably take one look at my portfolio and laugh." But then I thought, "You know what? These people don't know me. If they don't like my work, they won't contact me. I'll go in the trash like all the others who are under qualified. If they do like what they see, they'll contact me." What did I have to lose? I was barely paying my bills and I was absolutely miserable. So I stayed up until 4 o'clock in the morning fine tuning my résumé and setting up an online portfolio and I hit send. They contacted me the next day, then I got a phone interview, then I interviewed in person, and was offered (and accepted) the job on the spot. But then I had 2 weeks to find a place to live, a school for Aiden, and pack up everything to move 2.5 hours away to a city I knew nothing about. About a week into the moving process I almost called it quits. I didn't think I could do it, but I put that fear behind me and I did it anyway. It's only been a couple of months but I am so ridiculously happy with my life. I'm rediscovering myself in so many ways. I didn't realize how miserable I was until I became truly happy with life. I'm even single now. I feel like I'm a better and more patient mom to Aiden. I'm reconnecting with old high school & college friends who live here now and I'm having do much fun, I'm finally living again. And maybe I will fail. Maybe I'm riding a high right now and once the dust has settled, things won't work out like I want them to. While I truly hope that totally wrong, I'm okay with that. Because for the first time in my life, I did something outside my comfort zone. I tried. I won't have any regrets.
It's so easy to just not do something and continue your routine. "Fear is a habit. So is self-pity, defeat, anxiety, despair, hopelessness and resignation. You can eliminate all of these negative habits with two simple resolves, 'I can!' and 'I will!'"
I guess I'm about a week late on Jenni's Blog Every Day in May challenge. I planned on joining in on this the first day, but since when does anything I plan ever go right? Hardly ever. I guess I like to show up fashionably late.
|(I wanted to have a picture to add so you get a bathroom selfie I took this morning haha)|
So, what do I do? I'm a graphic and web designer. I've been designing for 10+ years now. I spent the last 3.5 years working for a web development company until I was laid off due to budget cuts. After that, I started working from home doing freelance and as an independent contractor for a popular blog design company.
Now, I've worked in the Marketing Dept at the Verizon Wireless Regional Headquarters in Little Rock, AR as a graphic/web designer for the past few months. And I. LOVE. IT. So far this is the best job I've ever had and I would be perfectly happy here for many years to come. My coworkers are fantastic, my boss and managers are wonderful, kind, and understanding. The environment in general is just amazing. It's very laid back, yet professional. We have fun, joke around, but we also get our shit done and do it well. The talent here is phenomenal. I feel very blessed and grateful to be a part of this team.
More specifically, I mostly design graphics for the homepage and accessories page. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to show anything (otherwise I would) but if you go to Verizon Wireless' homepage or accessories page, a couple of the current slides were some I've done :)
When I'm not at my 8-5 job at Verizon, I do freelance work at home. Since I have my son, I work during the week at night from about 9:00pm-12am and then varying times on the weekends (depending on whether or not it's his dad's weekend to see him). So, if you're interested in a blog, web, or branding design just shoot me an email at email@example.com
I absolutely love what I do and I'm so glad I'm able to get paid to do what I love. There's a quote that goes something like "It's a wonderful thing when a passion and career come together." That is so, so true. Do what you love and you will love what you do!
Happy Friday everyone! So, it's been a little whole huh? A LOT has happened the last few months, all mostly great things, but things that have kept me super busy.
I left the area I grew up in to move 2.5 hours away to the "big city" of Little Rock, Arkansas. I had about two weeks to find a place to live, a preschool for Aiden, and get him signed up for Kindergarten in the fall. Somehow everything fell into place perfectly. I've been spending the last month or so getting settled in and a new routine going. I now work full time as a web/graphic designer for the in-house marketing department at Verizon Wireless at their Regional Headquarters here. So far I love it! I love what I do, I love the people I work with, and overall it's a very enjoyable environment. I also love the city and everything it has to offer.
During my free time, when Aiden is with his dad, I've been reconnecting with old high school and college friends. It's been nice getting out, hanging with old friends, and meeting new ones. I haven't been this happy with life in a long, long time. I think I've made some pretty good decisions so far.
I've also been working on getting my freelance business in working order. I put it on hold when I was getting ready to move but now that I'm finally getting back in the swing of things I'm ready to start being a little more creative. This blog of mine is in the process of changing as well. I've been toying with the idea of going back to Wordpress. There are some things I'd like to offer that would be so much more convenient (for both myself and readers) on Wordpress as well as things that you just can't do on Blogger period. I get emails all the time about the download links not working and that's because they're hosted on a 3rd party online storage site that sets a limit to how much bandwidth can be used. They disable the links sometimes so that kind of sucks.
Anyway, so that's that. Aiden and I have just been having fun and enjoying our new life!
I just launched a new design this morning for The Daily Post! Caitlyn used one of my premade templates I had available on another blog of hers last year. It's always nice when someone wants to return to use your services again!
This time Caitlyn opted for a custom blog design for her blog, The Daily Post. She sent me a few ideas of some specific things she wanted but I pretty much had total creative freedom. Visit her blog to check out the full design!
Labels: Blog Design